18 October 2015

feelings, emotions

this post is not about people who manipulate, are nasty, narcissistic, etc...it's about us other people. Those unreasonable people should be avoided...I speak here from personal experience. Nothing I ever said or did made a situation better when dealing with a mean person. The only thing that ever helped a bad or difficult on-going situation was to walk away.

But for the rest of us, our feelings are our friends

Think of them as being messages from our Spirit. Messages from that wiser part of us which is generally hidden from our everyday knowing.

When we have feelings that make us feel uneasy...there is a reason that we feel that way. Our feelings are telling us that something/someone is not "right" & also to be careful.

When we become emotional & feel threatened at someone's behaviour towards us, whether or not it is outwardly threatening....this is a message to us that we are in danger.

When we feel really good & someone else causes these good feelings to plummet.....this is a message that this person is not good for us...& to avoid this person. If being around that person usually doesn't make us feel that way, then perhaps that person needs someone to talk to.

Some people get irrational & angry when others won't do what they want them to do: avoid these people as they have personality problems, & they will cause you angst with their dramas (talking from personal experience here!)

As a yoga teacher, healer & clairvoyant, I feel very strongly about all this. And listening to & seeing new age attitudes to our thoughts & feelings, I wonder how we have allowed mis-information to become the norm.

We are supposed to grow & learn...by our experiences, & some of these experiences will not be good!! We need to learn to trust our feelings, those feelings that arise from any experience. Why do people think that other people are "mirrors" for our own "negativity"? This seems to indicate that one is the centre of everything & all that happens is about oneself. And that one is "bad".

Really? I personally find this psycho- babble quite manipulative. It has been used by many people to control others &/or make themselves look good. I do not feel that it has it's basis in truth.

Rather than thinking that others are mirroring our faults, or that we "must" be "bad" for this to happen...why not look & see what feelings are happening around these experiences....if you go quiet & allow these feelings to come up & those feelings are "negative".....why are they like that? Are you being unreasonable, is there an underlying unresolved issue? Is something truly disturbing you? Are you tired, hungry, worried? If you are any of these, then other people are not actually there to "mirror" you. They have their own ways of responding too. Nor are you "bad".

I was at a family funeral recently & the minister told us that "sadness is not a sickness". How apt for that occasion...we forget that as humans we have a gamut of emotions relevant to a situation. Remember that I'm talking about "normal" people...not mean ones. And when we are experiencing reactive emotions in a situation, & have been feeling ok prior to it.....then perhaps the problem is not actually within oneself. Our feelings will let us know that something is not alright regarding the other person/the situation.

For all seekers pursing a spiritual path, if that path is not making us feel good about ourselves...us "normal" people, then something there is not right for you. It could be that you need to change your practices, for example: yoga sadhana/spiritual daily practice in this context, is meant to make us feel good. If it doesn't then we may need to alter our practice to one that is more suited. Sometimes a teacher might make us feel bad about ourselves. In my experience, these sort of teachers are the ones with personality problems. When the whole credo of an organisation makes you feel uneasy, then perhaps it is not the correct organisation for you.

Because, generally, anything that we do to improve the quality of our life, should make our feelings less up & down...we tend to become more stable emotionally & have less problems in that area. So if this is not happening...it helps to find out "why not". And, conversely....our emotions do become richer: love is deeper, we have more empathy for others, we care more, we are more loving.

Emotions are also tied into our conscience. Our conscience seems, to me, to be one of the direct lines to our Spirit. And...this is spiritual. One of the best ways to have emotional well-being is to go with our conscience, it is linked to our heart, to our inner being. It is a signpost.

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